


Daddy's Little Disaster

by TheWritingMustache



Category: Assassin's Creed, Prototype (Video Games)
Genre: Agender Character, Established Relationship, Future Character Death, Genderfluid Character, Gift Fic, Hive Mind, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Virus, forgive me father for i have sinned but hey u kno nothing is true and everything is permitted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingMustache/pseuds/TheWritingMustache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing is true and everything is permitted.  Right? Right! So, funny story, the Blacklight virus takes that to heart and decides "you know what if the First Civilization can make aliens babies then so can I".</p><p>And then Alex and Desmond are just going to have to deal with it.</p><p>A gift fic for the ever inspiring and lovely Assassin_J</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do you think Hallmark has a card for that?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Assassin_J](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Replication](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3533999) by [Assassin_J](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/pseuds/Assassin_J). 



> right so shit to keep in mind:
> 
> 1\. Alex is technically agender, he just uses masculine pronouns. That's cause he's a FUCKING VIRUS that doesn't have an actual gender identity nor sex, hence why this whole mpreg business makes ten times more sense than it normally would.
> 
> 2\. Canon? What canon. Some canon. Time and place? Meh.
> 
> 3\. Not your jam? That's cool. The holy water is by the door. This fic wasn't for you anyway.
> 
> 4\. Desmond and Alex are already established to be in a full relationship, living together and everything in their own apartment.
> 
> 5\. Alex, Dana, and Ragland are a part of/under protection of the Assassins
> 
> 6\. Assassin_J is the main inspiration for this fic, so a lot of its elements will be inspired right off her, and then some.
> 
> 7\. Mama Miles is hispanic af. 
> 
> 8\. But also don't think for a SECOND this fic will end with rainbows and unicorns
> 
> Enjoy. 8)

They were brushing their teeth when Desmond first noticed it. He just looked over at Alex, then glanced down, and then he saw it, the small yet prominent bulge of his tummy. He glanced between the small bulge, then looked back up at Alex who didn’t seem to notice at all, too intent at scrubbing every inch of his mouth with his toothbrush.

(Desmond told him he didn’t need to brush that much, normal people didn’t do that, but what would the living virus know about what normal people did?)

“Heeey Alex?” Desmond said. Alex grunted in response. “Whaaat’s that?”

“What’s what?” Alex asked around his toothbrush.

“That thing on you.”

“What thing on me?”

Desmond reached over and poked at his bare stomach.

“That.”

Alex looked down, and his head cocked off to the side much like a dog’s. He stared at it for a few seconds before he made a small noise and said, “Ohhhh yeah, that thing.”

“Been there long?”

“About a week now.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think I have…Uh…indigestion.”

Desmond quirked a brow at him.

“You can have that?”

“I think so? I feel like I haven’t really been consuming anything I’ve eaten lately. So I think I’ve just been packing it all there until I finally break it down,” and Alex shrugged. “Wouldn’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll go away eventually.”

“If you say so, dude. Still up for lunch later today?”

“Yeah. I’m fucking starving.”

**x-X-X-x**

A week later and it still didn’t go away, and that’s when they both got concerned. Alex especially was growing more agitated by it. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get rid of it. He tried sucking it back in, attempted to forcibly push back into his body, and he tried clawing it out. But every time he did, he was just met with his own solid biomass that would not budge.

“I think we need to go see Ragland,” Alex said one day. “I just…I can’t figure this out.

“You think he’s gonna know better?” Desmond questioned.

“Dunno,” Alex shrugged. “Least he can do is cut the damn thing out of me.”

They really had no other choice. It wasn’t like there was some sort of Blacklight expert they could go to, and at least Ragland understood the virus’ biology better than the virus itself. So they called ahead, let Ragland know they wanted to see him, and a couple hours later, they walked into the local morgue where the good mortician himself waited.

“Don’t know how much I can help,” Ragland shrugged as he had Alex lie down on his table. “Or what we’re going to find. But let’s see what the problem is.”

Alex was instructed to breath, relax, don’t fight, and let that skin split on open. He pulled up his shirt to let Ragland take a look at the bump along his stomach. Ragland gently felt it, and he let out a surprised noise at how solid it was. He rapped his knuckles against it, and the hard knock of it echoed through the room.

“Has it always made that sound?” Desmond asked. “I mean, Alex is a solid guy, but I didn’t think like that.”

Ragland shrugged and picked up his scalpel. “Alright Alex, let’s see what’s in there. Loosey goosey skin, got it?”

Alex grunted.

Ragland took it as a yes, and he carefully sliced the skin around the bulge open. He pushed the skin away in large flaps, and he was confronted with a rounded mass of virus.

“Huh.”

“That’s so cool!” Desmond cried and stepped over to get a closer look. He reached out and knocked a fist against it. It definitely wasn’t hallow. “Dude it’s like your shield. Why are you shielding your stomach?”

“I don’t think it’s my stomach but I dunno,” Alex said.

“And you think it’s just food in there?” Ragland asked.

“We think.”

The mortician nodded and pressed the scalpel to the mass. The tip didn’t even pierce it, and no matter how hard Ragland tried, he could not cut into it.

“Change of plan then,” Ragland said, and start cutting in around the bottom of the mass. Right when he found some sort of purchase and dug in, there was an audible hiss, and Alex growled and jerked away. Desmond and Ragland glanced between each other as Alex scooted away and the skin around his stomach slapped itself back together.

“Ow,” Alex breathed out.

“What the fuck happened?” Desmond asked. “What the hell made that noise? Was that you or the virus?”

“Both,” Alex huffed. “I didn’t mean to I just…It hurt. Doc, you hurt me.”

“So I did,” Ragland murmured in agreement. They were all quiet for a bit before Ragland asked, “Alex, what other kinds of symptoms did you say you had?”

“Uh….Hungry?”

“That’s not a symptom,” Desmond mumbled.

“Mr. Miles, please. Go on Alex, what else?”

“Uh…Tired. Not normal tired. Not sleep tired but different kind. More opposed to shifting. But really hungry,” Alex tried to explain as he carefully sat himself up, an arm wrapped around his mid-section protectively.

“What are you hungry for?”

“Fatty things,” Alex replied. “Sugary things. Been making Desmond take me out for burgers a lot.”

“A dent in my wallet I’m okay with,” Desmond smiled. “Though, at this rate, I just might start getting as fat as him.”

Ragland hummed and nodded, and then he said, “Well, I’ll have to look into this. I don’t know what I can figure out for you, but if I find anything, you’ll be the first to know. Until then, there’s not much else I can do for you.”

**x-X-X-x**

They ended up at Dana’s after that. It wasn’t that Dana was a bigger expert on the virus either, but maybe some insight of her’s would help. She was happy to see them again regardless, pulled them into hugs the moment they walked through the door, and kissed Alex on his cheek.

“My faaaavorite boys~” she sang out as they all sat down in her living room. “To what do I oooowe this honor of having you back in my humble aboooode?”

“The bump hasn’t gone away,” Desmond told her. “If anything, it’s fucking getting bigger.”

“Whoa, really?” Dana blinked. “That’s so weird, lemme see it again!”

Alex grumbled, but lifted his shirt up anyway. They showed it to Dana last time they were here, and she had been fascinated by it before, then joked that Alex’s age was finally catching up to him and he was getting fat. Virus fat or something. She looked at the bump with renewed interest now, breathed out a sound of awe as she reached out and gently ran her fingers along it.

“Duuude,” she whispered. “What the fuuuuuck.”

“We knoooooow,” Desmond whispered back, not sure why they were speaking so low but liked the secrecy it entailed all the same. “It’s not a bad digestive system either. That thing is like, fucking aliiiive. It almost killed Ragland earlier, we swear.”

Alex huffed.

“And, and,” Desmond continued. “Like in there, it’s like some sort of shield thing? Like it’s the same shit as the shield, hard as a fucking rock too. No way in, no way out. Freaky deaky, am I right?”

“It’s like a caterpillar!” Dana said excitedly. She glanced between the two men giving her odd looks. “I mean, like, you know. A little caterpillar goes inching along a branch, and then it turns itself into a cocoon, and a while later, out pops the butterfly! Bro, you’re having a butterfly!”

They continued staring at her with confused looks.

“Alright wise guys, you try and explain it!”

They couldn’t.

“Yeah, fucking exactly!”

“Viruses can’t have butterflies!” Desmond cried. “Viruses just make…bigger viruses! Virus…things! Remember Hunters and Hydras?”

“So Alex is having a creepy monster maybe squid thing?” Dana asked.

Alex groaned.

“I dunno, maybe?” Desmond shrugged. “Hey Alex, maybe you ate another virus and now it’s like, duking it out in your stomach and you just haven’t killed it yet.”

“Yeaaaaaah,” Alex rolled his eyes. “That’s totally it.”

“Well you never knoooow,” Dana pointed out. “Maybe you got a tapeworm that’s playing funny with the virus. Maybe you caught a cold. Maybe you two are having unprotected sex. Human-to-Blacklight STDs. Whatcha guys been doing behind closed doors, huh?”

“I’m perfectly clean,” Desmond scoffed. “And for youuur information, we always use a condom, right Alex? ….Alex?”

Dana and Desmond glanced over at the man in question who had the most horrified expression on his face. His hand was clenched tightly over his basketball stomach, and he slowly sank lower and lower into the couch he was sitting on.

“Alex, we were kidding!”

“Yeah bro, it’s okay, don’t look like that!”

He looked up at them, and if it was possible for him to be paler, then he accomplished that in that moment. His mouth opened and closed before he finally managed to say, “I think it’s all three.”

His boyfriend and sister looked at each other, then back at him, faces scrunched up in equal confusion.

“I have a parasite,” Alex said slowly. “And a cold. And an infection. All at once. And there was that one time we didn’t use a condom,” and he looked directly at Desmond.

Desmond blinked. Then he laughed nervously. Then he scoffed and rolled his shoulders. “Aw come on Alex,” Desmond said. “That was like, a month ago, and you just started acting weird like, two weeks ago, there’s no way they’re related….Right?”

He tried to sound confident, but after another round of exchanged glances, a whole new door of possibilities suddenly opened up.

“Noooo,” Desmond moaned.

“Oh my gooood,” Dana breathed.

Alex whined.

“I’m gonna be aunt!” Dana cried. “I’m gonna be an aunt to a squid!”

“DANA!” both men screamed at her.

“But don’t you see?” she asked excitedly. “That makes soooo much more sense! You were telling me last time how hungry you were, right Alex? Well, maybe it’s because you’re eating for two! Ya got the cravings for the good stuff to keep your squid happy. And like, you’re shielding your tummy cause that’s where it is. Bro, you’re def having a squid baby. A squibby.”

Alex covered his face and let out a low groan. Desmond had a hand slapped over his own mouth as he slowly sunk to the floor in mind numbing shock. Dana seemed to be the only one actually excited for them, and pleasantly blown away by the possibility.

“Sorry guys, did you want the butterfly more?” Dana asked with a smirk. “I mean, what is you Assassins say, Desmond? Nothing is true and everything is permitted?”

“Shut up Dana, just….Shut. The fuck. Up.”

**x-X-X-x**

Even by dinner time later that night, Desmond still didn’t know how to wrap his mind around this. He and Alex sat at the kitchen table, Desmond idly picking at the remains of his food and Alex scarfed just about the entire of everything they made down. Even the chicken wings Desmond had fried were being devoured whole, punctuated by the loud crack of Alex’s teeth breaking apart the bone.

“You’re not supposed to eat that,” Desmond scolded dully.

“Mrrrrrrn,” Alex growled at him as another part of bone cracked loudly.

“Well if you get shards stuck in your throat again, I’m not gonna pull it out….”

“Nyrrrrrmmmn,” Alex growled again, and kept chomping away.

Desmond didn’t fight it any longer. His thoughts were too focused on Alex being….Being….

God….

Pre-

No.

No way.

It couldn’t…No it didn’t work like that. They were two different species all together, there was no way…Even if there was still some bit of actual humanity inside him, there was no way that Alex could use his creator’s…basic functions to create…Well….

And Alex didn’t seem to give a single shit about it. Didn’t seem disturbed about it at all. After the initial horror had passed from earlier, he just went back to being his normal, passive and emotionless self. Desmond wished he’d say something about it. Like, right now. This very moment. He kinda wanted to hear Alex say something about the matter.

“So,” Desmond started. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Alex said between licks of his fingers. “Hungry though.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Desmond nodded. “But how are you like, you know, feeling about your….Our…You know….Thingie.”

“Our….thingie?”

“The thingie you may or may not have inside you right now….”

“I dunno,” Alex shrugged. “Don’t like it. Holds me back. Makes me weak. But We can’t get rid of it. Too soon, needs more time.”

“To see if it actually becomes a…?” Desmond prodded.

“Needs more time,” Alex repeated, and scarfed down the last of the table scraps.

What did that mean though? Desmond wanted to keep asking, try to get a solid answer from him. But it didn’t seem like Alex was going to offer more, and Desmond felt like they would just go in circles. At least, he figured he could ask one more question.

“When did we make this decision, Alex?”

“We did. Earlier. In the car on the way home. They explained everything. Needs more time.” Alex prattled off as he rose from his seat and gathered the dishes together. “I’ll do these.”

Desmond nodded, and Alex took the dishes to the sink to begin washing them. He couldn’t help but stare at Alex’s back as he did, trying to think, just trying to imagine…Everything about today just coming together…

It was kinda fucking weird and trippy.

**x-X-X-x**

“Look,” Alex said as he pushed the tablet out of Desmond’s hands and crawled onto his lap. It was a few hours later, and they were settling down for bed. Desmond was just checking facebook and instagram before they really lied down to sleep, had been contemplating just how to break the news to their friends and family about all this. And now, Alex was demanding his attention in the best way he knew how.

“I’m looking,” Desmond replied, his eyes glued on the rounded pudge of Alex’s belly.

“I didn’t do this on purpose,” Alex stated. “Not the way you think I did.”

“I don’t understand how any of this works, Alex,” Desmond said and glanced up at him. “I know how this works in humans, but not in viruses.”

“Okay yeah see, so uhm, when we fucked,” Alex continued, and grinned rather sheepishly. “We fucked a lot that night. A lot of sex.”

“I know, it was awesome,” Desmond sighed wistfully.

“It so was. Okay but that’s the thing. There was a lot of gametes in me that night. And basically what happened was…Like, I…The virus…Me as a whole kinda took it as like…an all you can eat buffet of DNA.”

“Christ, Alex.”

“I know, I know, it’s fucked up. But okay, so, we both know, you’re like, The Guy.” said Alex

“I’m very well aware I’m The Guy. I kinda hate being The Guy.” Desmond groaned

“Every moment alive being The Guy just ruins everything.”

“Sure does, hun….So what does me being The Guy have to do with our weird squid thing?”

“Okay so, those gametes of yours-“

“It’s sperm, Alex. You can just call it that.”

“Shut up. They have a lot of interesting DNA in them. DNA that I, the virus as a whole, would be really interested in thanks to your very unique lineage.” Alex explained. 

Desmond stared up at the ceiling briefly as he worked all that out in his head. 

“Shit dude, so like…You’re trying to make a First Civ baby?” he asked.

“Kinda of, a little, maybe. But I don’t think it will be totally. Because I’ve had to give a lot of myself to it already just to make it live this far. And it’s missing some very crucial things to fully form it.”

“Like?” Desmond quirked a brow.

“Female produced gametes. Or as you’d like to put it as, an egg produced from an oviary.”

“Ohhhhh…Well pal I got some bad news for ya. Uhhh, I don’t make those, and I know people who can, buuuut they’re kinda not easy to get a hold of if you catch my driiift…”

“It’s fine,” Alex shrugged. “We just-…They…I…Wanna see if we can actually do it, I guess.”

“Make a baby?” Desmond asked. “Cause oh man, Alex, babe, trust me, it’s not the world’s hardest thing. I’m sure you could do it just fine with what you got.”

Alex nodded slowly. Desmond smiled and leaned up to kiss him, then shifted him off his lap.

“So, we’re doing this then? You wanna see if you can have this super powered squid precursor baby?”

“Well gee, when you put it like thaaaat.”

“I’m trying to be realistic here, Alex.” Desmond rolled his eyes.

“Then yes, we’re going to have a squid.” Alex huffed.

“Do you think they have a card for that at Hallmark?” Desmond huffed in amusement as he picked his tablet back up. “Well, hey, I’ll help you know. It’s my little squid too, and this is like, extremely unconventional, but I won’t leave you hanging, alright?”

“I know you won’t,” Alex said as he stretched out across his half of the bed. “Cause if you do, I’d honestly have to kill you. Much better way of getting all that DNA I need to make for our kid.”

Desmond laughed, cause oh, good one Alex! He looked over at his boyfriend, expecting him to be laughing too, except Alex had gone completely silent, and he wasn’t looking back at him. Desmond’s laugh died off rather abruptly, which the same could be said for him if Alex meant that.

Alex probably meant that.

“Threat acknowledged,” Desmond said quickly as he went back to scrolling through facebook.


	2. Mozel Tov!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desmond and Alex break the news to the Miles grandparents.

“Mom, Dad, we’re pregnant...No, I’m not pregnant, Alex is...Shit mmmm.”

“Uhhh, Mom, Dad, you’re gonna be grandparents, to a squid. Fuck no, can’t say that either.”

“Guess what, we got the next successor to the Miles family line in the oven, it’s a freak of nature. Ah hell.”

“I dunno Des, I think that one was my favorite,” Alex spoke up from he leaned in the bedroom doorway. Desmond paused in his pacing around the room to glare at him. “Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it should be this hard.”

“Yeah well, if you don’t think it is, then you can tell them, Alex,” Desmond rolled his eyes. “Explain to them how you got pregnant and why.”

“Okay, sure,” Alex said. “No problem. Get the keys, let’s go right now.”

“Wha- Now?!”

“Yeah, unless you wanna wait until later when I’m like, the size of a bowling ball?”

“Ugh, fuck, okay, fine, let’s go.”

**x-X-X-x**

“Oh my boooys! Hello!” Nadia cried as they walked in through the door, and she threw her arms around them both and pulled them in for a hug. Desmond had called his parents and let ‘em know they were coming over. Nadia had been rather ecstatic, said she had a lot of leftovers she needed to get rid and she needed her favorite garbage disposal over here pronto. Which, Alex was more than happy to oblige.

Didn’t even warm any of it up, Nadia led them into the kitchen where all the leftovers were spread out on the counter fresh from the fridge, still in their various containers. Alex’s jaw practically quivered with excitement, and without any extra invitation, he rushed over and started going to town. With every container and bowl emptied, it was tossed into the kitchen sink. Now this, Desmond could get behind, better than going to McDonald’s and ordering like, five Big Macs for Alex alone.

“Oh Alex, sweetheart, you’re doing me such a huge favor!” Nadia swooned. Alex grunted in response as he kept tearing his way through all the food, skin, bones, fat, and all. “Oh Desmond, hijo, was there anything I could get you?”

“Nah I’m okay, Mom. Uhm, Alex and I needed to talk to you anyway. Dad’s home, right?”

“Oh, he’ll be back in a bit, he had to run out to the office real quick. What’s going on anyway? Is something wrong?”

“Oh no, everything’s fine, uhm, just, Alex and I have something important to tell you, and we want Dad to be here too for it.”

Nadia’s eyes grew wide as he spoke, and she glanced between them with a growing, excited smile on her face. Whatever she was thinking, it was going to get seriously dashed to pieces soon enough. Everyone knew how serious Desmond and Alex’s relation was, and everyone was more or less pretty supportive of it. Desmond kept Alex in check, and Alex made sure Desmond didn’t do something stupid to get himself killed, among other things. It worked out pretty well for them. And he guessed their relationship was taking that next time in seriousness, cause mutant squid babies was kinda a big deal, to some people at least.

They moved into the living room to wait, and Desmond chatted his mother up in the meantime. Eventually Alex finished depleting the kitchen of leftovers, and he joined them by throwing himself over the couch and right into Desmond’s lap, promptly knocking the wind out of him as he did. His mother only laughed wildly, and reminded them not to play rough in the house. If Desmond didn’t have the solid, combined weight of Alex and their little alien spawn digging into his ribs, he most certainly would have said something snarky back.

And that was the position that William Miles came back to find them in, Alex lounging against Desmond, Nadia rambling about this and that, a casual family picture. Except, William was frowning the moment he saw Alex, and Alex looked back at him with a half-sneer as he snuggled into Desmond comfortably.

“Dad, hey!” Desmond greeted him.

“Son. Alex.” William nodded. “Good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too, Dad. Uh, hey why don’t you sit down, uhm, Alex and I wanna talk to you guys about something.” Desmond said as he shoved Alex off him. William regarded them for a moment before he sat down in an armchair. Nadia looked at them expectantly, that excited hope brimming on her face again. Desmond smiled nervously as he found Alex’s hand, not sure where to begin.

“So right uhm, we uh...We got some big news for you...Don’t we Alex?”

“Yup,” the virus agreed simply.

“Yeahup, big news, real big news. Ohymgod is it news.”

“Hijo, whatever it is, you can tell us,” Nadia reassured gently. “You know we’ll always be behind you no matter what.”  
William grunted softly in agreement.

Desmond nodded, and swallowed nervously as he tried to gather the right news on how to break this to them.

“W-Well, uhm, you see, Alex and I...We’re uhm...Somehow we’re uh...You see Alex uhm...He-”

“Okay so basically,” Alex cut in, clearly tired of Desmon trying to skirt around it. “We’re announcing that we had some very unprotected sex, my biology had a party, and it said you know what, parenthood sounds pretty cool, so I’m having a weird virus-human-squid baby. Mozel tov, you’re gonna be grandparents.”

Desmond covered his face up with his free hand in utter embarrassment. Nadia and William blinked at them in confusion.

“Come again?” William asked disbelievingly.

“Grand...parents?” Nadia echoed with uncertainty. “A...virus...what baby?”

“I. Am. Puh-reg-nant.” Alex said. “As in, in a few months, this,” and he lifted his shirt up to reveal his growing baby bump, now bigger than it had been a week ago. “Is gonna spit out a freak of nature, and it’s gonna call you grandma and grandpa. Okay? Okay.” and he dropped his shirt back down.

The Miles parents visibly paled, William reaching up to play with his beard and Nadia clutching at her chest. This is exactly what Desmond was scared of. How was anyone supposed to take the news that hey, your grown son is having a very sexual lifestyle with his non-human virus partner and said partner was gonna have a baby. A baby.

Alex was hardly disturbed, looking back at them passively, indifferent to how they must be feeling. Easy for Alex, he had all this perfectly calculated, already planned out, it was nothing to worry about in his mind’s eye. He had already accepted this, knew what he was gonna do, and probably didn’t understand why everyone else would have a reason to freak out about it. Sometimes, Desmond really envied his disconnection from others.

“Oh,” Nadia finally said. “Oh that’s...That’s wonderful, dears, very good.”

She didn’t sound too approving of it, the shock very evident in her voice still.

“H-How?” William asked. “How did...That’s impossible. You’re a...Well, aren’t you a male virus, Mercer?”

“Technically, viruses don’t have a gender. Or a sex. Or much of anything,” Alex responded. “Which kinda makes this like...Difficult all on its own? Trust me, it’s not easy making a kid outta nothing, but eh you know, life uh, finds a way.”

William nodded slowly, and turned away. Desmond felt his heart clench up painfully, his parents didn’t like this. They didn’t understand, and they didn’t look happy. This felt almost as terrifying as when he first came out to them as bisexual, then later when he and Alex first announced their relationship. He remembered how his father had reacted, how he said he was fine if Desmond liked to tango with guys every now and then, but he wasn’t okay with him doing it with Alex fucking Mercer of all things. He was more accepting of it now, but Desmond worried that this was going to make it or break it for him and his already strained relationship with his father.

And then his mother, she didn’t say anything, didn’t know how to respond. What happened to the mother that used to tease him about settling down and giving her lots of little rugrats to baby and dote over? Suddenly that wasn’t okay cause it was with Alex? He could feel hot tears prick at the corner of his eyes, and he felt so angry and sad at the same time. Abruptly, Desmond stood up from the couch.

“We’ll be going, you obviously need some time to take this in,” Desmond said, the hurt clear in his voice. “Come on Alex, let’s get out of here.”

Without even saying a formal goodbye, he stormed out of the room, Alex following suit. He didn’t relax until he was well out of the house and back behind the wheel of the car. He didn’t start the car up right away, just slumped into his seat and cradled his face in his hands. Alex sat next to him in the passenger seat and just watched, now only showing some signs of distress seeing Desmond so upset.

“...Do you want me to drive?” Alex offered.

“No,” Desmond snapped in a shaky voice. “No, it’s ok, just...Just give me a fucking minute.”

Alex nodded, and reached over to lay a hand on his thigh, and squeezed.

**x-X-X-x**

Back at home, they immediately filed into the bedroom and fell into bed, despite how early in the day it was. But they needed it, just an excuse to snuggle up, Desmond spooning Alex, his hands resting around his stomach protectively.

“I don’t care what they think,” Desmond mumbled as he buried his face into Alex’s hair. “About us, about the baby. I don’t care if you give birth to like, a twenty legged crab or something, or a hunter or whatever. I-I’ll take care of you both, I promise, I fucking promise. I’ll love you if no one else will…”

“I think you’re more upset about this than I am,” Alex stated. “I don’t care what they think either, but I know it’s different for you….”

“I just don’t know what to do to make them happy,” Desmond sighed. “I know it’s weird but they...You saw how they acted.”

“Give them time. They accepted you, they accepted us, they’ll accept this too. You’ll see. They always come around,” Alex assured. Desmond didn’t feel quite convinced, and he just clung onto Alex even tighter. Alex twisted around in his grasp and kissed him gently.


	3. Five four-by-fours, animal style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Desmond (reluctantly) have some big news for their best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i updated the tags for this story, you should take a glance through them.
> 
> thanks to everyone who's been reading/commenting/kudoing so far, y'all are beautiful.

“Hey Desmond,”

“Mmm?”

“How fucked up would it be…If I didn’t have skin?”

“…What?”

“What if I didn’t use the virus to make skin over myself. What if I was just the virus, as is, all those tentacles and shit spilling all over the place and I was just a massive blob monster. Would you still date me if I was a big gross blob monster that didn’t have any skin?”

“…..Honestly, yeah, I totally would.”

“Would you still want to fuck me as a skinless blob monster?”

“Yeah…Yeah Alex, I would. I still fuck you now as a blob monster with skin, I dunno what would be any different.”

“You’d still think I’m hot?”

“So fucking hot.”

“Mmm….That’s fucked up Desmond, you’re really weird, you kinky freak.”

“Shut _up_ , you have no room to judge me about that.”

Alex laughed harshly, one of his awkwardly toothy smiles stretched across his face. Desmond sighed at him, but still stared down at his phone. Alex scooted over in the bed to lie his head down on Desmond’s shoulder, smile turning to a pout.

“Desmonnnnnd.”

“Aleeeex.”

“I don’t appreciate you not paying attention to me.”

“I am though.”

Desmond was still playing with his phone. Alex pursed his lips at him.

“Not really.”

“Oh…well sorry.”

“You should be….Hey you know what we haven’t done in a while?”

“What?”

“ _Fucked_.”

“I’m not really feeling it lately, Alex.”

Alex’s pout deepened. He was getting kinda sick of this. Of Desmond, and his attitude. How he had been all mopey and saaad since the last time they spoke to his parents. Alex really didn’t see the big deal, cause whether or not they liked the fact that there was a _thing_ growing inside him…It was gonna come out anyway? Alex was still having the “squid”…The squibby….It wasn’t going to magically go away cause other people didn’t like it.

But Desmond was very much about having his parents’ constant approval, especially Bill’s. Like fuck Bill, fuck everything about him, Alex pretty much hated him. Not hated him that much, but he just doesn’t see why Bill was sooooo great. Mentor of the Assassins or some shit, okay cool, but it felt like everyone kinda forgot that Alex could rip them all apart in mere seconds and there was nothing they could do to stop him.

Except, maybe Desmond and Dana. Morality pets? Ooh yeah. Did they make being “human” all the more enjoyable? Yeaaaaaaah, they diiiid. Still wasn’t any easier trying to figure them out, and their interactions, and what this meant, and what that meant, and why this was so important-

It was kind of exhausting. Especially when someone like Desmond was being moody. Cause Desmond didn’t wanna do ANYTHING. Didn’t wanna go out, didn’t wanna fuck, didn’t wanna play games, just wanted to mope around and cry about…Parental approval, who knew. Alex didn’t get it. But it was BORING, and Alex was too socially awkward to leave the house by himself. That and he was also now like, too pregnant to go out by himself and not get awkward stares.

Cause that was the other thing that he didn’t like about humans. They claimed they were so progressive and liberal (whatever the fuck that all meant), but as soon as they looked at him, they were confused? And uncomfortable? And sometimes weird old people would come up to him and stare him down trying to figure him out? Sometimes even being bold enough to ask, _“What are you?”_

So Alex reaaaally didn’t like leaving the house without Desmond. It was just mooore than uncomfortable, and now he had this living, breathing mound on his stomach that was only going to raise more weird looks and questions, and Alex didn’t wanna FUCKING DEAL WITH THAT. But staying inside all day was driving him up a wall, and he was sick of it, and he was sick of Desmond’s shit attitude and mmmmMMMMMMmmm….

Well, fine. He was gonna take care of this himself if he had to.

“Des, I’m hungry,” Alex whined.

“You always are, Alex.”

“I wanna go out. Please? Pleaaaase?”

“Maybe later…”

“Nooo, nooooow,” Alex insisted, and he shot his arm into a whip to snatch up his own phone from his nightstand. The whip flipped back with lightning speed, and Alex wasted no time in calling up the one person he knew could absolutely get Desmond out of the house.

“What are you doing, Alex?”

“Shhhh, I’m on the phone.”

It only took a few more rings before the other line picked up, and a voice of surprise answered-

“Aleeeeeeex, whaat’s uuuuup?!”

“Claaaaaay~” Alex replied in a sing-song voice. “Hey wanna get lunch with me? Desmond’s being a boring ass and he’s not being any fun.”

“Oh nooo,” Clay gasped. “Well of couuurse I’ll hang out with you, where do you wanna go?”

“I need some biiig burtgers, I’m sooo hungry….Let’s get In-N-Out, I haven’t had those in a while.”

“Fuck yeaah, count me in. See you there in like, what, thirty minutes?”

“Awesome, yes, good, thank you. See ya Clay.”

“In a whiiiile crocodile!” and _boop_ went the line. Alex exited the phone app and shot Desmond a smug look. Desmond was glaring at him from over his shoulder, and then he sighed and finally rolled out of bed. Alex snickered and followed suit.

**x-X-X-x**

Clay was more than happy to see them, wrapping them up in a giant group hug with his ever cheery and infectious smile.

“Hey Deso, come on, why the long face? Cheer up bud, the fun has arrived! And Alex, ohhh Alex, you didn’t to pretty yourself up for meee.”

“You’re right, I didn’t,” Alex smiled. “At all. I just hate the way people look at me, so that’s why I shoved the skirt on today. For me. And no one else. I hate coming out here.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” Clay assured her. “Thank you for inviting me out anyway, I’m really honored that of all people, you called me. But hey, let’s get in line, you know what you want? Cool? Coool, let’s do it.”

For once, Clay’s over enthusiasm was very welcomed. They sent Desmond off to secure a table, Clay insisting he’d be happy to pay for Alex, and they shooed him away without much fuss. As soon as he was out of ear shot, Clay glanced at her and asked, “Everything okay with you two?”

“What? Oh yeah, everything’s fine,” Alex said. “Desmond’s just…having a thing right now. I’ll tell you about it later, but let’s just say, do we have a story for you.”

“Oooh,” Clay nodded. “Okay, that’s cool…Hey Alex, you look really pretty today, and I just want you to know that.”

“Thanks Clay, even though I know you’re only saying that cause it’s true,” Alex sneered, and Clay laughed. 

That’s what she liked about Clay. Clay was Desmond’s best friend, and when Alex finally entered the whole Assassins picture and got to Desmond, Clay just automatically became her best friend too. And Clay thought she was totally kickass. With all the powers from Blacklight, all the amazing and incredible things it could do. But just personally liked how she, quote-unquote had “zero fucks to give about anything and just takes names and kicks ass and that’s so AWESOME”.

He was extremely supportive of her relationship with Desmond, one of the first people they told, and you would have thought he had just won the lottery with how happy he had been. Didn’t care that some days Alex felt more feminine, and some days felt more like nothing at all, and all Clay did was loudly envy her for being so damn confident in everything she did and how she rocked it without a second thought.

So if she was gonna tell anyone, hey I’m pregnant with a literal blob monster, and not have them freak out, it would be Clay.

A time later, with a tray of five four-by-fours, two shakes, two sodas, and two orders of fries with cheese, they hunted Desmond down and plopped into the seats around him.

“Fucking hell Alex,” Desmond swore when four of those burgers went to her. “You’re gonna actually develop cholesterol or some shit.”

“Told you I was fucking hungry,” Alex growled as she picked a burger up and nearly downed it in one bite.

“Incredible,” Clay breathed. “Need me a freak like that.”

“A shapeshifting virus that could literally swallow you whole?” Desmond asked deadpanned.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want.” Clay grinned. “Alex, dump this loser and date me instead, you can eat me again and again as much you want.”

“Don’t tempt me, cause I might actually,” Alex chuckled. “But uhm, speaaaking of shapeshifting viruses that can swallow you whole-“

Desmond gave her a strained look, don’t Alex, please don’t, not here…

“Uhm….There might be another soon? Maybe? At the rate I’m going, waaay sooner.”

Clay blinked innocently at her, and gave her a confused yet patient smile.

“Sooooo, Desmond and I have some big news for you. You wanna hear it?”

“I doo,” Clay nodded excitedly. “I do wanna hear about your new virus…Is it a good virus or a baaad virus?”

“I mean, it’ll be half virus,” Alex said. “And half like…Squid or something….Maybe like a twenty legged crab or some shit…”

“Okay…..What?”

“Alex,” Desmond moaned in embarrassment. “Please don’t…”

“We’re having a baby, Clay.”

Clay blinked at her, then blinked at Desmond, and looked between them. And his brows furrowed as his lips pursed, and he stared down at his burger, then up at the ceiling, then back to Alex, and went, “Huh?”

“Yeah, you know like…This?” and Alex leaned over a little to discreetly lift up her shirt and show the gigantic bulge of her lower abdomen. Clay’s mouth made a small “o” as he looked, and ever so slowly did his jaw go slack, and stayed that way even after Alex put her shirt back down. Alex waited patiently for him to say something as Desmond hid his face.

“Huh,” Clay repeated as he set his burger down, and took a long sip from his soda. He hmmm’s and hummed and uhhh’d to himself, before he finally just shrugged and resumed eating. “So uhm…How long has it been…since this?” he asked between bites.

“‘Bout three months, give or take,” Alex shrugged.

“Are you sure?” Clay asked with a quirked brow. “You don’t look three months…More like…six?”

“Well I don’t know how it works, it’s not a normal pregnancy by any means, cause I’m kinda you know… _not human_. So if it’s a little faster or weirder, that’s why.”

“Okay, okay, calm down, fuck. Alright…Wow….Ohmygod, you’re gonna be parents!” Clay squeaked. “Aw you should have told me earlier! Does anyone else know?”

“My sister, Ragland, and Des’ parents.”

Desmond whined at the mention.

“So….That means the position of godfather is open, right?” Clay looked between them hopefully. 

“I guess…Desmond, what do you say? Why not?”

“….It’s…Yes, Clay, you can be the godfather,” Desmond sighed. Clay triumphantly pumped a fist into the air. “Wha- Wait. So you’re like, cool with this?”

“Yeah?” Clay chuckled. “Course I am dude, you know I love you two, why wouldn’t I be? I dunno much about babies, and frankly, this is all weird as fuck, but hey you know, it’s not hurting anyone right? So why not? I’m behind you all the way, one hundred percent. I’ll even help with name suggestions, and I might suggest “Clay” after their number one uncle, but that’s just meeee.”

Desmond blinked at him in stunned disbelief. Alex felt pretty smug about it herself, her careful planning all falling into place. She picked up her third burger and quietly chewed at it while Clay excitedly chattered at Desmond about being an uncle and father, respectively.

Which, was very hopeful for them as they still had the whole rest of their friends to tell this to, and then some.


	4. Say hello to our little friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets an ultrasound.

“What do you think it’ll look like?” Alex asked.

“Well, a baby, ideally.” Desmond stated.

“Yeah…How many tentacles do you think it’ll have?”

“Uh….None?”

“Well it needs at least six.”

“Uhm-“

“How big do you think the mantle will be?”

“The what?”

“The mantle, you know, the head? That big spear shape that makes up the entire animal?”

“Alex, we’re _not_ having an actual squid!” Desmond laughed.

“You don’t know that,” Alex huffed.

“And you do?”

“…..No, not really…But it’s part virus, part alien-”

“Part _human_. The Precursors were humanlike, Alex. We were made in their image. They just looked like us. Er….So we look like them. So our baby will look the same.”

“That’s not as exciting,” Alex muttered.

“Uh, I thought have an alien, Precursor virus was the coolest thing ever for the last five months?” Desmond smirked at her.

“It still is!” Alex cried. “But our baby could be sooooo much cooler, don’t you think?”

“I don’t want a cool baby, I just want _our_ baby,” Desmond said. “Okay?”

“Okaaaaay,” Alex sighed, faking looking down for a second before glancing back up at Desmond, then leaning over to kiss him. Despite all the bluff and banter, Alex felt ecstatic. Things had been coming along nicely in the last two months for the both of them.

After their lunch with Clay, Desmond had really come around about, well, everything. From Clay they went to Lucy, Rebecca, and Shaun, and despite some stupid comments from the latter, all was well and accepting. Confused, but accepting nonetheless. Especially since Alex just kept getting bigger and bigger around the middle.

It was pretty fucking annoying at this point. She was excited about the baby, honestly. But hooooly fucking, moving around was getting harder, her already high metabolism was off the charts, and she felt like she couldn’t go anywhere without the opens stares, regardless of how she presented herself that day. Alex was pretty much ready to evict this kid from her body, she’d draft up a notice herself if she had to, and rip that kid out with her own hands.

But nope, every time she “asked”, she was just told that it wasn’t ready yet, it needed a little more time. Time to what? Suck her dry of everything that she had and leave her a hollow husk of a cell membrane? Yeah, no thanks, the little lifesucker could get out before that in her fine opinion.

She and Desmond were still sharing kisses when the door finally flew open, and they broke apart as Stephanie Chiu wheeled the ultrasound machine in.

“Took a little bit longer than I wanted to, but I found it!” Dr. Chiu greeted them cheerfully. “That’s how long it’s been since we had a baby here at base. Ready to see yours at least?”

Alex and Desmond nodded enthusiastically, Alex sitting back properly against the examining chair and hiking her shirt up around the giant bulge of her stomach. Dr. Chiu went about getting the machine plugged in, and slathering Alex’s stomach in some cold, slimy…Stuff for the ultrasound. But it was gonna be worth it, it had to be. They were gonna see their baby, at last!

“So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Dr. Chiu started when she finally placed the sounder stick thing on Alex’s tummy. “What are we hoping for exactly?”

“A squid,” Alex replied simply.

“Alex,” Desmond warned.

“Okay okaaaaay, a normal baby,” she grumbled.

“Either one sounds good to me,” Dr. Chiu chuckled. “What about gender though?”

“We don’t think it’ll have one,” Desmond shrugged. “I mean, _they_ won’t have one. Or…A sex either….Cause Alex doesn’t, so we just kinda figured…”

“No no, makes sense,” Dr. Chiu nodded, staring intently at the screen. So far it didn’t look like much was inside Alex, just this inky darkness. She carefully moved the sounder along, looking for something that resembled a living thing.

“Where are they?” Alex asked, glancing down at her stomach.

“Around here somewhere. Has baby been active lately?”

“They were earlier today. Might be asleep now. I can try waking them up?”

“No no, we’ll find them. Babies tend to get themselves all turned around while they’re in you, as I’m sure you’ve felt before. Not like they have a whole lot of places to go in there so- Oh! Ohhh, wait, wait….Right there, do you see it?”

Dr. Chiu pointed to the screen. Desmond and Alex squinted at it.

“Riiiight there, I think…that is an arm!”

Alex sighed in disappointment.

“Told you,” Desmond smirked at her. Alex blew a raspberry at him.

“Okay let’s see, so if we go here…I think we have a shoulder…And a uh…Uh….A spike?” Dr. Chiu said curiously. “And…another…one?….Oh…wait….is….is that the jaw? What-“

Dr. Chiu fiddled with the machine a bit and swept the sounder back over Alex. They all watched as the….”baby” came into view. A set of what looked like teeth, long needles clamped together came into view, as if it had its face pressed to the wall of the womb. The sounder moved up, as did the view of monstrous teeth to a frightening skull shape.

Alex glanced between both the doctor and her partner, and their faces looked ashen. Something told her that this wasn’t normal. Something was wrong. They weren’t happy.

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked in a smaller voice than she intended.

“Maybe?” Dr. Chiu asked, none too sure of herself. She reached back over to the machine, fiddled with it again, and moments later, speakers crackled to life, and they could hear a loud, fast passed _whooshwhooshwhooshwhoosh_. “Okay uhm well…That’s their heartbeat, at least. So they’re uhm…Definitetly…Alive?”

“Uh, cool?” Alex said. “So then…they’re fine then?”

“Yeah, sure, we can say that.”

“Theeeeen why do you both look like _that_ still?”

“Seriously?!” Desmond snapped. “Look at it Alex, that’s not human, at all! Normal babies don’t look like that!”

“Well I thought we kinda established I’m not having a normal baby,” Alex said.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was gonna look like….One of those…Hunter things! But worse!”

“They look fine, Desmond,” Alex growled. “I don’t see the problem, cause there isn’t one. Right, Chewy?”

“Uhm,” Dr. Chiu glanced between them and nodded slowly. “Everything looks okay so far…” she said, turning off the speakers. “Let’s uh…Let’s give baby a full look here, and then we’ll be done, okay?”

The rest of baby looked similar, spikes protruding from its sides, but still in the generic shape of a developing fetus. So in other words, it was _perfectly fucking normal_.

 

**x-X-X-x**

 

“They’re so cute,” Alex cooed later on in the car drive home, staring down at the ultrasound pictures that Chiu printed out for them. “Gonna be our little killer one day.”

“If they want to be,” Desmond said cooly. “No one ever said they’d have to be an Assassin or anything.”

“You’re right,” he nodded. “But if they ever aspire to be mad scientist, I’m disowning them.”

“That’s fair,” Desmond said.

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes before Alex sighed in frustration.

“I’m fucking sick of your attitude, you know that?” Alex snarled.

“What did I do?” Desmond gasped.

“You’re so fucking hot and cold about this. First you’re like, sure, let’s be parents! Then you’re like, noooo, no one will love it cause they won’t be happy with me. Then you went back to loving it, and now you hate it because it doesn’t look like the baby on the fucking Gerber jar.”

“We both saw it, Alex. How can you not be concerned about that? No baby on this planet should look that way.”

“Well ours does!” Alex snapped. “No one said it was gonna stay that way forever! We don’t know if it’ll change or not. And if it doesn’t, then who cares?……That’s what _I_ look like….”

Desmond sighed loudly, and pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. If Alex could produce tears, he’d definitely be crying openly, because every little feeling of insecurity hit him all at once. He hadn’t felt this way in a few years, not since the beginning of their relationship. Back when he felt terrified over the feelings he had for Desmond, and scared they’d never be reconciled, cause why the fuck would anyone love the literal, actual monster that he was? The thing that could make claws and blades from his hands, and tears anything living thing apart and devour them in seconds.

The thing that wasn’t even _human_.

Now that fear came back, that Desmond was gonna call it quits right then and there. And all of this had been for nothing, it was pointless.

“…I’m sorry,” Desmond sighed softly. “I got scared again. I don’t want this to go wrong…I just want things to be fine. I…I wanted to pretend we could be a normal couple about this…And have a normal baby, and a normal family and….I shouldn’t be thinking about that.”

“We’re not normal,” Alex muttered. “At all.”

“I know we’re not,” Desmond nodded. “I really do wanna make you happy…Both of you, but I don’t know how. I don’t know anything about human babies, let alone _our_ baby.”

“Well I don’t know either!” Alex cried. “About either one! And you know what? I didn’t _ask_ for this. I didn’t tell myself to do this, it just _happened_. And I could have killed it soooo easily. But I didn’t, cause I don’t think I could bring myself to. And I-…..I wanted to see if I could make this happen. If we could….”

“I get that Alex, I do, honestly,” Desmond said. “I’m just…so scared of fucking this up.”

“You don’t think I am too?”

“I know you are, I do. I want to make this work with you. I love you so fucking much, Alex. And I do love our baby, I really do. I’m scared, but I’m so excited to be a father, I really am, I promise I am. And you’re right, I have been hot and cold. I’ve never changed my mind, I promise I haven’t. I’ve just been getting defensive whenever something changes, and I shouldn’t be doing that. But I do want this, I want to spend the rest of my life with you to take care of this kid. I really do.”

“Even if something happens?” Alex asked. “What if something happens that you don’t like? What then?”

“Go with it. My whole life has been a series of “shit I don’t want happening to me”…..But I’m pretty positive for once in my life, I want this. And I want it with you….Alex, look at me.”

He did, finally meeting Desmond’s eyes, red, puffy, and wet. Alex’s eyes probably looked similar. Desmond reached over to grab Alex’s hand, bring it to his lips, and press kisses into his palm. Alex sniffled, and gently cupped Desmond’s cheek. They stayed that a while longer, holding onto each other softly before Alex finally had to go and ruin it-

“Babe, I’m hungry.”

“You always are.”

“Yeah but like….Still hungry?”

“Aheheh…How about a pizza then?”

“Maybe three?”

“Extra large with all the works?”

“Pleaaaase?”

“….Sure hun, of course.”

Desmond fished his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Alex, let him start ordering online as Desmond revved the engine back up and pulled a u-ie to turn the car around.


	5. A very adult talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desmond and Alex sit down and have a very adult chat about their relationship. And other things.

They needed to talk-

After stuffing their faces with pizza of course. And then retire to the couch to snuggle up against each other as they digested. Desmond sat at the end, with his back to the arm of the couch. Against his chest and between his arms and legs was Alex. And of course, the every growing balloon on Alex rested against him. They sat like that in relative silence, no TV, no phones, just them. Desmond twirled his fingers around locks of Alex’s curly hair. Alex sighed contently, eyelids hooded. Desmond soon bent forward to plant a kiss to the top of Alex’s head, and his partner purred approvingly.

“Do you think they’ll have your hair?” Desmond mused softly. “I hope they do, you have the best hair.”

“Maybe,” Alex shrugged.

“I hope they get your eyes. I love those eyes.”

“I kinda hope they get yours in all honesty.”

They were both smiling, gentle and warm.

“I’m gonna love ‘em you know.”

“I do.”

“I know I act like a shithead a lot.”

“You do.”

“But from here on out, I’m gonna stop being that.”

“I hope so.”

“It’s a promise. I’m gonna be the best dad ever. I’m gonna take care of you two. I’m not gonna let ya down anymore. I-I’m gonna be super serious about this.”

“I know you will.”

Alex twisted around a little to gaze up longing at Desmond. In turn, Desmond happily kissed him. They kissed slowly, gently, lovingly. It felt like they hadn’t kissed like that in a long time.

“What are we doing here, Desmond?” Alex asked him.

“Cuddling on the couch.”

“No,” Alex sighed. “What are we doing here, as a couple?”

“We’re about to be parents, hun. That’s what.”

“Are...Are we even ready? Are you suuure you’re ready?”

“Are _you_?”

He needn't answer. Neither of them did. Cause the simple truth was; they weren’t. Not in the slightest. Even after all these months, with a possible due date inching ever closer, with that ball hanging off Alex swelling ever bigger...They weren’t. Hell, they haven’t even acquired some of the necessities; bottles, clothes, toys, _a crib_. Sure, they didn’t know if their baby would actually need all that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared. They didn’t even have a nursery or anything prepared. They hadn’t even talked about one.

“I want to be here though,” Desmond said. “I didn’t think I ever would be, but now that I am, well...Well shit, man, I’m ready to stay.”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “Me too...I’m still scared though. I’m...Deep down I’m scared something’s gonna go wrong. It can’t be this simple…”

“Why not?” Desmond wondered. “I mean, I know both our track records but like, come the fuck on, let this be the _one_ simple thing in our goddamn lives.”

“It’s always gonna be difficult.”

“I’d be surprised if it ever stops.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. So much. More than anything in the _world_ , Alex. I love you so much…”

Desmond would have said more, but his lips were already cemented against Alex’s once more. He held Alex tight, cupping the back of his head as they pressed harder and harder against each other into the kiss. There was no where else they wanted to be right now.

“We’ll be good parents,” Desmond whispered when they broke apart. “I know we will.”

“I want to be too,” Alex nodded. “I want to be with your forever...And I always,” he tugged at the collar of Desmond’s shirt. “....I want _you_.”

**x-X-x-X-x**

“How are you gonna-“

“Like this.”

A completely naked Alex lied down on his back with his head at the corner of the bed. Desmond stepped closer as he shimmied his underwear down to free his cock. A shiver ran down his back as Alex licked his lips hungrily. Without wanting to make his partner wait any longer, Desmond eased his hardening cock into Alex’s mouth. He groaned loudly as Alex began to lick and suck. His cheeks flushed red, looking down at Alex, his suggestive and inviting form stretched out on the bed below.

He panted as Alex managed to produce the most _vulgar_ sounds, the wet smacking of cock against lips, or popping off free from his mouth. Desmond thrusted gently, gripping the bed on either side of Alex’s head to push and pull himself in and out of that wet, warm mouth. Eventually he came, not with a bang, but a hard grunt and his seed spilling out from his cock and down Alex’s throat. Alex slurped it without question.

“I hope that doesn’t make another one down there,” Desmond laughed breathlessly.

“I think our little parasite will eat anything first before they allow a roommate,” Alex muttered, licking his lips clean. “My turn.”

With some slow and careful maneuvering, Alex got turned around, and pulled closer to the bed’s edge. Desmond eased down to his knees and pushed Alex’s legs back apart. Alex’s back arched as Desmond planted his mouth down into his slick heat, right below where a cock and balls would have normally sat had Alex cared to form them on his body. But this was good enough, moaning with pleasure as Desmond’s tongue pushed its way inside.

Heat rushed towards there as that part of Alex’s body woke up, growing excited when it realized what was going on. The smell of hormones in the air was enticing enough as it is. Desmond could feel them- _That_ part of Alex’s body, respond to the stimuli, brush up against his probing tongue. Desmond pulled back, and they followed, converging into one singular tendril that chased him out and launched themselves into the open to follow.

Desmond chuckled around the excited tendril as it slipped into his half-opened mouth. He dove back into the slit and resumed lavishing it with attention, as best he could with the invader slipping in and out of his mouth in return. Above on the bed, Alex mewled and whined in pleasure.

“Stop- Playing-“ Alex panted. “I want you. I _need_ you.”

“Gimmeh uh minuh,” Desmond said around his busywork, his hand already tugging at his re-hardening cock. It was moments like these where it felt like getting older was a blessing, and a curse. Took his sweet time getting hard again after orgasming, but at least while that happened, he could tease Alex as much as he wanted. His partner grunted and growled in impatience, his hips lifting off the bed to press himself closer to Desmond.

Desmond laughed as he reached out with his free hand in an attempt to push Alex back down, just to mess with him a little more, deny him any extra pleasure that he couldn’t get enough of. Alex knew the game well already, and while he eaaaasilly could have stopped Desmond, overpowered him, he chose not to because goddammit if he didn’t find it fun too.

With a loud, wet pop, Desmond pulled off of Alex, and rose back to his feet. Alex scooted back, enough to let Desmond kneel on the mattress. With his legs pushed open as much as they could, and that desperate look on his face, Alex had never looked more inviting.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Desmond whispered as he teased his cock into Alex’s slit. Alex’s eyes slid closed, his mouth dropping open in a tight ‘o’ shape as Desmond inched his way in until he couldn’t push himself in anymore. “Hope the kiddo won’t mind…”

“They...They can’t feel...They won’t,” Alex panted as he snapped his hips up. Desmond grunted in approval, and started to slowly rock himself against his partner. He gradually sped up, gripping the sheets on the bed to anchor himself as he pistoned in and out of Alex. Down below came that wonderful, if not missed feeling of what it was possibly like to truly be _inside_ Alex. To feel something actually _moving_ and pulsating beneath him. Something that swirled with him, that threatened to catch on to him and never let go, but always did anyway.

To see that _look_ in between the fluttering of Alex’s eyes; Hunger- Lust- Adoration- Fulfillment- The list could go on. The soft drop of his mouth, dark pink tongue slipping out between pale lips, the sound of soft, yet grumbled moans- It was his favorite. It made Alex look so real, feel so real, it was something Desmond could stare at all day.

Alex came without warning, or as close as the virus could to imitating an orgasm. The sudden tensing of his entire body, the groan cut off in his throat, the arching of his back, _claws_ curling into the bedsheets. Desmond ground himself to a stop, daring not to move, not to add any more stimulation than he had already provided. His heart thrashed against his chest as he waited, feeling the tightening around his cock, and he inhaled sharply at the near vice grip on him-

That let go just as suddenly as it came, and Alex flopped back into the bed bonelessly. Desmond gently slipped himself free, his still hard cock resting against Alex’s groin, but he didn’t pay it any mind. He just watched his partner panting beneath him, and Desmond pulled away completely as to not cage him in. He rolled off to Alex’s side, to uncurl blackened claws out of the sheets and replace them with his own hand. The claws dissolved back to pale flesh, and blunt fingers squeezed tightly around Desmond’s hand. Smiling, Desmond brought their hands up to kiss the back of Alex’s. Alex whined and rolled his head over to look at Desmond, a small, warm smile on his face.

“Feel good?” Desmond whispered.

“The bessst,” Alex hissed out happily. “Did...Did you-”

“No,” Desmond shook his head. “It’s okay though, I’m just glad you had fun.”

“Lie down with me,” Alex asked softly, and Desmond complied, crawling into bed fully to lie against him. Alex wiggled closer to lay his head atop Desmond’s shoulder, and they snuggled quietly against each other.

**x-X-x-X-x**

They were still in bed, Desmond’s phone in one hand, the other busy curling locks of Alex’s hair around his fingers, looking at nothing in particular when Alex suddenly said, “We still don’t have a name.”

“For the baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you thought of any?”

“Not really. Since we don’t know what the baby is gonna be…”

“There’s lots of really nice, gender neutral names out there.”

“Yeah, but which are best for _our_ baby?”

Desmond hummed thoughtfully as his thumb raced across his phone’s keyboard into Google, ‘best gender neutral names for babies’.

“We can start making a list?” he suggested. “Narrow it down to our top three? And when we see our baby, then we’ll know?”

“But what if they don’t fit _any_ name we pick out?” Alex asked. “We can’t just _ask_ them…..Does it take long for babies to learn how to talk?”

“Kinda yeah.”

“Fuck, see?”

“Well if they don’t like their name, they’ll tell us when they can, and we can change it accordingly. How about that?”

“Yeah...Yeah that’s...You’re right.”

“It’ll work out,” Desmond assured, and turned to kiss Alex’s forehead. “Whatever we, or they choose, it’ll be perfect.”

Alex smiled and rubbed his head against Desmond’s shoulder. The latter chuckled warmly, and they lapsed back into a comfortable silence until-

“Our little Squidly~”

“ _Alex-_ ”


End file.
